Driving home from a boxing party with the bf last Saturday, my mind wandered to a million and one things as it habitually does, and I turned to him and asked, “do you think men cheat more than women in relationships, or do they just get caught more?” Thankfully his eyes did not have a culpable look as he fleetingly glanced at me, before putting his eyes back on the road and answering very carefully. “I don’t know, I will have to think about it for a while”. He still thinks every question I ask seemingly from nowhere is a trick question. Sometimes they are, but this time I was just plain curious.
My curiosity led me to my dearest friend Google and I found out that The Huffington post thinks that women may be bigger cheaters and the Daily Mail in one article say that research found out Most women cheaters never get caught. What do you think? Looking forward to reading some thoughts on this one.
Extrapolating from my direct knowledge thousand of children, if not millions are being raised by fathers who are not their real fathers. As a Nigerian American connected to a large immigrant community, I hear a lot of stories of children denied immigrant visas because DNA tests proved that they were not fathered by the US citizen they have called “daddy” all their lives. Recently, I learned about a man who found out at almost fifty that his father was not his biological father. His mom was dead by the time this information was related to him by the US embassy as a reason for denying his sick old father a US immigrant visa. The I-485 he filed for his dad was based on the fact that his dad is the father of a US citizen but DNA proved otherwise. That guy and a lot of children born out of a woman’s infidelity will never know who their real fathers are.
There is an Igbo adage that says “nani nwanyi ma onye nna nwa ya bu” which translates to “only a woman knows who the real father of her child is”. I am sure this adage was made up before DNA tests but its still applicable today as most children especially those born within a marriage do not undergo a DNA test. I had a friend once who insisted that all his children must undergo a DNA test but that was before he got married. Before I digress too much on these evidence that cheating women have existed for years, this question for me stem from the fact that if women get asked out and men do the asking, then it is only common sense that women have more opportunities to cheat than men are.
I won’t disclose how many times in a week or month that I am faced with a proposition that could lead to sex as a woman but I will express the fact that I believe that every woman married or not gets these propositions albeit at different rates. Men on the other hand, even the play boys I know very well, need to make a move to get sex from the most willing of females. Hence a man needs to ask to cheat but a woman really only needs to say “yes” or even just be too weak to resist. It is much easier to say, “yes” than to ask even the shortest question, hence my peripatetic thoughts on whether men really cheat more?
Please do share your thoughts….
Like Always
Cheers! God Bless