Happy Me Year!!!
How did you start 2015? I started this New Year by sipping fine champagne in between kissing someone I love very much. I couldn’t have been happier. The kids were enjoying a drink break from throwing fireworks, and as soon as they could, they were happy to run back outside to continue the fun. I enjoyed watching some of their fireworks and although seeing their huge excitement as they threw up fireworks then ran back to watch it explode in sparks of sound and beauty warmed my heart, I was glad to escape back to the warm comfort of fine champagne and sweet kisses.
I am really excited for what God has in store for me in 2015; I have a really good feeling about this year. I have had a good feeling for a while now; maybe it is the excitement of getting over the insomnia that plagued me for over a year. Maybe its just waking up and knowing that the work I will do today will be mostly enjoyable work like cleaning my apartment, yes I actually enjoying cleaning these days, and baking J, definitely getting my skills back in that arena, writing J J, this one truly makes me happy because every time I write its easy to dream about selling over a million copies and being on NY Times best sellers list. Yes, a girl can dream! And I tell you, taking steps towards your dream makes that dream much more real.
Today I finally did something I have wanted to do for a while, and yes, that is something that I have truly enjoyed this past few months. Actually doing the things, little and big (mostly little), that I want to do. Anyways today I parked my car at my younger son’s elementary school after dropping him off at school and walked my older son to his middle school. I then took a walk around the block before getting back in my car. Why have I wanted to do this? Well my dream of walking the boys to school have been deterred by the too cold Houston weather and the fact that I feel bad about making my younger son do the almost 30 minute walk which is how long it takes with his little steps. God knows he is already too skinny!!! I could also just come home and walk around the lake in my apartment complex, but I am already getting bored from doing the less than 1000 steps it takes to go around it, over and over again. Yea, I have come to accept that I bore easily.
While I was walking the block, I realized that one of the reasons why people who spend most of their days doing the things they like are happier than those who spend most of their days doing the things they believe they should be doing is that the first group of people accept life’s hardship as a part of life, where as the latter group see life’s hardship as an effect of there rotten job, their being parents too early, their over bearing parents, or spouse or something else they have come to resent because of their life’s choice. Ok let me attempt to explain this better with an example. I lost myself somewhere in that complicated theoretical explanation. So take me for example, like a lot of people there are things, which I believe I should have, like money to pay for GRE, prep classes, swimming, music lessons, acting classes and tennis lessons for the boys. We definitely want to do it all!! Sometimes I get headaches thinking about if I can really afford some of these things.
When I made six-figures, these headaches blow up to migraines because I get myself worked up hating my job because I feel like what is the use of doing this job when I can’t afford basic stuff like that. Today, I just gently told myself that if I can’t afford it now, I will just wait a little and just like that my headache stopped before it had a chance to take a major hold on me.
Even people who are hard on themselves like I am are somewhat happier and more content with the life they have when they are doing what they like to do. Like right now, I am enjoying my career transition because it is a choice I made for me. Everything, even life’s hardships feels all right to me. A few weeks ago, I was taken aback by an outburst by a very good friend of mine who vehemently declared that she hates her life in this country and can’t wait to go back to Nigeria. When she was done venting, I mulled over her complaints and bitterness for weeks. It got me really worried, maybe because I was one of the people who encouraged her to come the US. Today I dare say I understand where that outburst came from.
Back in Nigeria, my friend was a stay at home mom because she chose to, she had friends she was happy with, a life she was comfortable and happy with. Now in the US she is not only working outside her home but she is working on getting another degree so she could get a better job, I thought she had friends she was happy with and is building a life she was comfortable and happy with but I guess I was wrong. My key understanding is that because the decision to relocate to the US was not hers, life’s hardship, which would also exist in Nigeria, is now blamed on the decision to move to the US. I have had the opportunity to talk to her after the incidence and I believe that she has a better outlook now. Dearest girl, if you read this and still feel as bad as you felt that day, let’s talk about it again.
As for me, this “Me year”, I am going to focus on counting my blessings. Life is Good I tell you J.
God Bless.
Nice! This is really deep. Cake = yum 🙂
It is important to always remember that we ought to own the decisions we make in life.