I don’t know about you, but I have heard this phrase more than once in my life, and in my thirty seven years of existence, I have had to convince several people that despite men’s claims that they are so hot women want them despite the fact that they are married, I beg to differ. Why? If all men who cheat let it out upon their first interaction that they are happily married and are only interested in an affair, most women will not be interested. Whether you agree or not, I hope you find my story entertaining and you contribute your piece to the discussion by leaving a comment. Enjoy!
I walked through the door, my cousin Chichi right behind me. I knew I was overdressed for the BBQ party when I left Jay’s house. But this is Abuja where being overdressed always beats being under-dressed. I had on an overly short baby blue, black and gold chain Fendi dress with Python-skin gold Gucci sandals strapped around my ankles. My ears were adorned in a diamond stud and daring 24 karat gold loops that dropped to my shoulders. The gold loops bombed its purpose of giving my outfit a casual twist. The black DVF evening shoulder bag with audacious gold lips that would cover the length of a Vogue magazine did the job.
I scanned the room. There were only about a dozen guys with a few chicks scattered around the long, narrow living room of the elaborate boys quarters. We passed the main house on the short walk from the gate. Chichi met me as the taxi that brought me to Asokoro from APO drove off. We stood out among all the babes in the room, so I figured since Chichi was hooked, the most eligible bachelor here was mine for the taking.
Unfortunately, the guys were non-lookers, even Tony, Chichi’s boyfriend. He resembled his guests. Tony was short; I figure five feet six inches, with a little tummy spilling over. I didn’t think he had anything going for him except that he probably had a rich daddy. I wondered why Chichi fell for him, and swiftly dismissed the thought. She never had a stellar choice of boyfriends.
I spotted LV man in a corner of the room and shook my head. He was still wearing the LV shirt, LV belt, LV hat, and LV shoes that he had on, from our flight from Lagos where he had sat across the aisle from me in business class. I almost laughed out loud when I saw him rolling along an LV carry on, with an LV messenger bag slinging from his shoulders. I thought it was a bit much. You be the judge.
Tony walked me around, introducing me as Chichi’s cousin to some of the guys. Mr. LV was Hafiz.
“I know you,” I said, when we were introduced.
He looked at me funny, possibly because he didn’t recall who I was.
“You sat across the aisle from me on the Arik flight from Lagos rolling an LV bag and carrying an LV shoulder bag,” I said to him.
As he chuckled, my eyes moved on to the only cute guy in the room. He was sitting, but I could see he was tall. The white fitted shirt enhanced his lean, fit body. He was spinning the music and Tony introduced him as Fares. This fine man’s handsomeness made up for all the ugly guys in the room. That is until I spotted his ring finger, while we had a handshake and a half hug.
I took a seat with Chichi and settled in to enjoy the night. I knew I wouldn’t find the evasive Mr. Right, nonetheless when in Abuja for two nights, I wasn’t denying myself some fun.
We partied till 1 am. The crowd thinned down to five guys including Mr. LV, Tony, and Fares. We decided to go to PLAY, a nightclub in Wuse II. The club was fun, a sexy mix of American and Nigerian hip-hop got Chichi and I dancing the night away as the guys drank. Fares joined me on the dance floor, when the DJ cranked Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite.” We danced together the rest of the night. He had rhythm.
“If only he was single,” I thought to myself. We could have had fun together. When the night was over, we headed back to Tony’s place. It was 4:00am and I didn’t feel safe getting into a cab to go back to Jay’s house in APO. I also did not look forward at the prospect of rousing Jay from sleep to open the door for me at that time of the night. She was a married woman and in Abuja that means she shouldn’t have friends that stay out so late.
Back at Tony’s house, Tony and Chichi immediately bailed to the bedroom once we came in, leaving me in the living room with Fares. Yes, he came back with us. He sat beside me, acting familiar and I noticed his wedding band was gone. I busted out laughing.
“What?” he asked.
“Where is your wedding ring?” I countered.
He smiled making him even more handsome. Too bad there was nothing cute in the fact that if I had not noticed his wedding band earlier in the night, I may have been a victim of “It’s no secret, I thought you knew.”
***
Fares happened to me five years ago…. There is more…..
In May, a friend introduced me to her younger brother who came to Houston for the Offshore Technology Conference (OTC.) She is one of those Nigerians who likes to hook up single peeps. In one of her numerous, “You are a great girl, I wish I had someone to hook you up with” conversation she mentioned she would set me up with her brother, if he weren’t hooked.
Subconsciously when this brother showed up wearing no wedding band, I thought ‘hooked’ meant he was in a serious relationship or perhaps engaged. The guy was unattractive, not slightly good looking, lived thousands of miles away in Nigeria, and although I have never been one to seriously look at a man’s wealth as an asset when it comes to falling for him, he was definitely below my minimum wealth standard, if I had one.
I was uninterested. That did not stop Mr. Abe from coming on to me. As per nice girl, I never came out to tell him off.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” I asked, when he requested to come to my place or take me out somewhere.
“That is what I am trying to do, but you keep saying ‘no’ to me.”
I was a little confused with his response, but given my lack of interest, I did not pursue it. I easily repelled his advances.
Now in 2015, my year of rebuilding, I tried my hand at real estate. I planned on selling plots of land in Nigeria to people stateside. That income-making option died in the research phase, when I found out, thanks to a great friend in Lagos and my uncle; that most plots acquired in Lagos do not come with Certificate of Occupancy. Anyway that is a story for another day.
It was during this research phase of my Lagos land agent hustle that I met Mr. Abe. Coincidentally, his main hustle in Lagos was Estate development, so we talked business a little.
Mr. Abe left Houston for Nigeria shortly after OTC. We did not communicate much after that. He followed me up on the land hustle, but by this time I had moved on to another venture. It made no sense to sell my fellow Americans land in Lagos that has no real ownership documents, I love my freedom too much for that!
Infrequently he resorted to the occasional ‘Hi’ on Whatsapp. It was in one of these occasions, a few short weeks ago, that I seized the moment to tell him about my Sendoutcardsbusiness. I wanted partners to bring it into the Nigerian Market as I see an opportunity for Small business owners, especially our Make Up Artists and photographers to use it for customer appreciation and client retention.
Next thing I know bros was telling me how his wife is into Forever products and how he will look into it and talk to her about the opportunity. Once I wrapped up the business side of the discussion, I called him out on the fact that he had been trying to ‘hola’ at me since I met him in May. It was only in November I found out he has a wife.
“It’s no secret, I thought you knew,” he said.
I wasn’t smiling when I told him that I did not know, that I literarily just found out from his utterance, and that I believe he purposely withheld the information because he knows very well that he has nothing to offer a girl like me. Why would a girl who is not homeless and hungry want to date a married man with no money, not even good looks or high intelligence? Maybe only on the off chance she needs some spare sperm for a child.
I don’t intend to throw stones at married men who cheat on their spouses. I am no judge. The other day I read a post in a Facebook group that incited lots of people who have sex with their boyfriends and girlfriends, whom they may not marry, to cast stones at prostitutes and ‘runs girls’. Story for another day, but the moral of this blog post is: if you are going to cheat on your spouse with a girl, even if you are a woman going to cheat on your spouse with a boy, please be kind enough to let them know at the point of introduction. Not after you have spun your lyrics and won over their hearts or worse yet, after you have had your way with them. Just my two cents…
Cheers!
As usual, I admire your candor. Very interesting read!
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Ada Love, Those are devils walking down the street.